Blogging For Blondes

Definition: Online Social Networking is about making and keeping friends for both business and pleasure via the Internet, rather than having them come into your home and polishing off the last of your favourite malt whisky.

TECHY BLONDES ARE COOL

I really must apologise – I have been breaking one of the cardinal rules of blogging.  The truth is my sweets, that I do chatter on a bit, but blogging should be a succinct art, not a monologue.  I love the discipline of Twitter but rather like spell-checks, once released from it’s constraints, it does not necessarilly improve one’s overall performance in a particular area, whether it be spelling, or being succinct.

Unlike when writing an article for a magasine, where several ideas may be discussed around a theme, blogs are better suited to only one or two ideas, expressed in as few words as possible, and with links embedded in the text so the reader can access the resources and more information for themselves, if they so choose.  

For me, the difference between writing an article and writing a blog, is as great as the difference between giving a speech at the Women’s Institute, and sharing some good tips with one’s friends whilst waiting for your nails to dry at the salon.

GEEK CHIC

The truth is, not everyone is a `visual’ person, and I am not talking about those gentlemen who insist on wearing socks with their sandals.  We all have ways of taking in information and some of you darlings out there may well be `auditory’, and prefer to listen to instructions rather than look at a map. 

If you want to create your own audio podcasts you will not only need to choose suitable recording equipment (I shall be talking to my favourite podcasters in later issues who can share their wisdom on the geekery involved) but on an emotional level, it is vital to bond with the appropriate software. 

I am currently in the early stages of a relationship with GarageBand on my gorgeous IMac, but am going to be getting some tips from the lovely Jason Jarrett on how to get to know it better.  Meanwhile, I have made the acquaintance of a retired lady called Moira who walks with a stick in one hand and a recording device in the other.  Moira is working on a audio art project and has fallen instantly in love with Cubase.

“I knew it was for me straight away” she told me last night over a glass of port.  “The layout, the feel of it – it is wonderful when you connect with a piece of software that way”.  Yes, Moira, I agree.  Apparently there are many hip hop dudes who have had the same experience with Cubase.

But why would anyone want to make audio podcasts in the first place?  That is a fair question, but since I have talked FAR too much already I shall leave that for now and see what others have to say on the matter……

`LET’S BITCH’ – BLOGGING IS FUN
Photo credit: @scottthephoto (he’s a genius!)

I am discovering that using audio on a blog or website can be quite fun, and I would love you all to share your clever thoughts on the different and exciting ways it can be used.   

My favourite so far, is a recording of someone over the phone while they are making a cup of tea which is then presented as a podcast on the About Us page of their website.  (Thanks Andy!)

PLEASE POST YOUR COMMENTS BELOW……

Definition: Online Social Networking is about making and keeping friends for both business and pleasure via the Internet, rather than having them come into your home and polishing off the last of your favourite malt whisky.

TECHY BLONDES ARE COOL

I was terrified. I admit it. The thought of being trapped, lost and abandoned in a giant Sainsbury’s carpark with endless arrows directing me to more endless arrows, makes me shudder at the memory. But it taught me a very important lesson – your one time enemies, can all of a sudden, become your most dear friends.

The relationship I am referring to began, my darlings, as one imbued with hatred, as only those of us who despise faceless technological creations can really understand. Yes, my relationship with my satellite navigation device did not begin well. That irritating voice, telling me to go down one blind alley after another, shouting at me to do u-turns in narrow lanes and sending me to places I didn’t want to go, had me apoplectic with rage, and the fact that for the first few weeks I could only program it to take me ‘home’ when I was ALREADY home made me truly miserable.

But then – SALVATION!

Totally lost in the giant supermarket carpark and desperate to attend a very important social engagement, my Sat Nav piped up with precise instructions on how to escape that ghastly place. Don’t ask me how, but by doing as I was told I was shown the way to freedom, and a newfound trust was born. When the following day a local techno-phobe claimed that ‘they didn’t like going on the internet because of protecting their ‘privacy’, I found myself screaming “how private is a machine knowing how to get you out of a Sainsbury’s car park for God’s Sakes? Who cares about ‘Big Brother’ if it rescues you from needing to call the emergency services in order to get your shopping home!”

Needless to say, that particular person is not talking to me anymore. But you get my point, my dears? Security on the internet and satellite navigation systems can be threatening to some, but if used wisely, they can be a way of bonding us together, creating communities and getting us home safely.

GEEK CHIC

Twitter buddy Dennis Howlett has some interesting things to say about the perceived security threats posed by the use of Twitter, which may allay some fears from those of you who are paranoid about such things (but happy enough for your Sat Nav to know EXACTLY where you are at all times, oh yes!).

After chatting recently with marketing and advertising entrepreneur Nick Broom about the value of Twitter, he investigated it for himself and came up with some good ideas of why such a seemingly useless online past time could in fact provide a useful communication tool that leaves email sobbing in the corner with no friends (except fairweather spam). Nick is intrigued by the medium and would, I am sure, welcome comments on his blog from those of you who already use Twitter for more than just sharing a moan about computer crashes or other geek issues.

`LET’S BITCH’ – BLOGGING IS FUN
Photo credit: @scottthephoto (he’s a genius!)

Now let’s help out those nervous souls who fear leaving comments on blogs in case they make a fool of themselves. Darlings – what can be MORE foolish than getting completely lost in a Sainsbury’s car park? Be fearless, and if you really cannot think of anything interesting to say, just do what I do…. post a link to someone else’s blog that IS interesting!

PLEASE POST YOUR COMMENTS BELOW……