Blogging For Blondes

Techie Blondes are Cool

What I see between the hair salon and the cocktail circuit, is that there are two kinds of Twitts – or Tweeters as they are also known.

The first kind are those ones with over three thousand followers who are indisputably twitter-nerds, but clever ones who one doesn’t mind too much being seen talking to at parties.

Then there are the techno-blondes like me who have fewer followers but who use Twitter to get answers that the man emptying the bins or the nice lady down the library or any other random person I try to extract an answer from, just can’t help with.

Geek Chick

I use Twitter for three reasons:

Vital information:  I ask my twitter followers how to make my computer work better when I’m on the verge of hitting it with a hammer, or what kind of software other people recommend, or where I can find just the right handbag for Milo Higgonbottom’s coming-out party, or other technical stuff.  I follow people with more brain cells than me and more fashion sense, and I find that they are really helpful.  Which is why my computer is still in one piece.

To let off steam and share emotion.  Yes, I agree my darlings, it may seem sad that none of my delightful children or passing people in the street are remotely interested in my deep emotional reactions to various daily events, but psychologically Twitter has a powerful role to play for many of us working from home going a little bit stir-crazy.

Laughing.  It’s hard to scan my tweets in the inbox without having a good laugh as twitter is the home of throw-away comments, and I have found that frequent laughing is a good way to avoid total emotional breakdown.   It takes a while to get the humour of Twitter as you need to develop a ‘feel’ for the people behind the tweets and their respective personalities, which is why following people you already know in the flesh increases the likelihood of finding the things they tweet slightly hysterical.

 Let’s Bitch – Blogging is Fun!

So, Twitts are more likely to find answers to questions by getting other people to do the research for them, less likely to have a nervous breakdown, but more likely to be taken away by the men in white coats for laughing hysterically at a screen for no apparent reason.

Now that is surely three good enough reasons to try anything at least once?

TECHY BLONDES ARE COOL

Facebook Pages or Facebook Groups – darling the choices are just too much!

There is only one way that I am able to get my peroxide-permed little head around this burning question, and inspiration came out of the blue while I was deliberating over which was just the ‘right’ pair of tippity tippity stilettos to wear down to Waitrose.

I realised that if I wanted to share the glory of my collection of slingbacks and thigh length boots with the world, then I should create a Facebook Page.  Each time I posted a photo of a new pair of shoes, all my ‘fans’ would see it appear on the ‘stream of consciousness’ page that always appears first on my screen, and where everyone seems to be going on about something that they seem to think is terribly interesting.  Hundreds of people from all over the world could marvel at my blue suede wedges, or the stiletto with the broken heel I keep as a memento from that wild night out in Rio.

However,  I may find that I gather a following consisting of characters possessing an insatiable and unsavory lust for womens footwear.  ‘Privacy’ is not a feature of a Facebook Page.

This is why a Facebook Group may be a better choice for my shoe extravaganza.  More fitting, you might say.  I could be really selfish and keep it a private group just between myself and my fellow shoe-aholics.  Or I could allow anyone in, but remove them discretely if they upset any other members of the gang.

Any amazing shoe-shopping deals could be ‘messaged to the group’, whereas on a Facebook Page they seem to have now removed any way to directly message the fans so one can only rely on them spotting your latest news flying past on their timelines.

GEEK CHIC

Whichever one you choose it’s bound to be the wrong one, and then you will discover that you can’t swop across.  Facebook may be a must for the techno-blonde, but sometimes, it’s a little ‘blonde’ itself.  But thanks to cut and paste, you can always transfer your info from a Group to a Page for example, and then message the group with the new page url suggesting they pop along and click the ‘like’ button.

The most important thing to remember about Facebook Pages is that dear old Google LOVES them

`LET’S BITCH’ – BLOGGING IS FUN

I am a member of a Facebook Group for my local Jazz Club on a Sunday.  After a day of toil on the estate working in the gardens, with all that mud ruining my nails and staining my Calvin Klein’s, nothing is better than an evening of sophisticated jazz and a Campari.  A Facebook Group can be a good way to get like-minded folk together who need those reminders coming into their inbox to remember what social delights await, and also to gain support for a common cause.  But they won’t be able to find your group via google, even if you’d let just anyone in.

I use a Facebook Page for Divorce in a Box, so that ‘fans’ will see any updates to the page in their notifications.  I also receive statistics from Facebook about the activity on the page.  And people can find the page via google.  No self-respecting business can be without a Facebook Fan Page these days, I’m afraid.

Of course making good use of your groups and pages requires a social network strategy, but I leave that kind of thing to my favorite Geek to explain, which I’m sure he will if you ask him nicely.

TECHY BLONDES ARE COOL

I really must apologise – I have been breaking one of the cardinal rules of blogging.  The truth is my sweets, that I do chatter on a bit, but blogging should be a succinct art, not a monologue.  I love the discipline of Twitter but rather like spell-checks, once released from it’s constraints, it does not necessarilly improve one’s overall performance in a particular area, whether it be spelling, or being succinct.

Unlike when writing an article for a magasine, where several ideas may be discussed around a theme, blogs are better suited to only one or two ideas, expressed in as few words as possible, and with links embedded in the text so the reader can access the resources and more information for themselves, if they so choose.

For me, the difference between writing an article and writing a blog, is enormous.  Writing an article is rather like giving a speech at the Women’s Institute, but writing a blog is more akin to sharing some good tips with one’s friends whilst waiting for your nails to dry at the salon.

GEEK CHIC

The truth is, not everyone is a `visual’ person, and I am not talking about those gentlemen who insist on wearing socks with their sandals.  We all have ways of taking in information and some of you darlings out there may well be `auditory’, and prefer to listen to instructions rather than look at a map.

If you want to create your own audio podcasts you will not only need to choose suitable recording equipment (I shall be talking to my favourite podcasters in later issues who can share their wisdom on the geekery involved) but on an emotional level, it is vital to bond with the appropriate software.

I am currently in the early stages of a relationship with GarageBand on my gorgeous IMac, but am going to be getting some tips from the lovely Jason Jarrett, who’s Buddhist Podcast is listened to all over the world, on how to get my little head around podcasting.  Meanwhile, I have made the acquaintance of a retired lady called Moira who walks with a stick in one hand and a recording device in the other.  Moira is working on a audio art project and has fallen instantly in love with Cubase.

“I knew it was for me straight away” she told me last night over a glass of port.  “The layout, the feel of it – it is wonderful when you connect with a piece of software that way”.  Yes, Moira, I agree.  Apparently there are many hip hop dudes who have had the same experience with Cubase.

But why would anyone want to make audio podcasts in the first place?

`LET’S BITCH’ – BLOGGING IS FUN

I am discovering that using audio on a blog or website can be quite fun, and I would love you all to share your clever thoughts on the different and exciting ways it can be used.

My favourite so far, is a recording of someone over the phone while they are making a cup of tea which is then presented as a podcast on the About Us page of their website.  (Sorry Andy!)

If your subject manages to sit still for the interview, the results can be quite moving, as with this young woman talking about her experience of her parents adversarial divorce.

If you have good information to share on podcasting, post it in the comments below…..

TECHY BLONDES ARE COOL

I was terrified. I admit it. The thought of being trapped, lost and abandoned in a giant Sainsbury’s carpark with endless arrows directing me to more endless arrows, makes me shudder at the memory. But it taught me a very important lesson.  Well two actually.  The first one was to stick to Waitrose because the car park is smaller.  The second – that your one time enemies, can all of a sudden, become your most dear friends.

The relationship I am referring to began, my darlings, as one imbued with hatred, as only those of us who despise faceless technological creations can really understand. Yes, my relationship with my satellite navigation device did not begin well. That irritating voice, telling me to go down one blind alley after another, shouting at me to do u-turns in narrow lanes and sending me to places I didn’t want to go, had me apoplectic with rage, and the fact that for the first few weeks I could only program it to take me ‘home’ when I was ALREADY home made me truly miserable.

But then – SALVATION!

Totally lost in the giant supermarket carpark and desperate to attend a very important social engagement, my Sat Nav piped up with precise instructions on how to escape that ghastly place. Don’t ask me how, but by doing as I was told I was shown the way to freedom, and a newfound trust was born. When the following day a local techno-phobe claimed that ‘they didn’t like going on the internet because of protecting their ‘privacy’, I found myself screaming “how private is a machine knowing how to get you out of a Sainsbury’s car park for God’s Sakes? Who cares about ‘Big Brother’ if it rescues you from needing to call the emergency services in order to get your shopping home!”

Needless to say, that particular person is not talking to me anymore. But you get my point, my dears? Security on the internet and satellite navigation systems can be threatening to some, but if used wisely, they can be a way of bonding us together, creating communities and getting us home safely.

GEEK CHIC

Twitter buddy Dennis Howlett has some interesting things to say about the perceived security threats posed by the use of Twitter, which may allay some fears from those of you who are paranoid about such things (but happy enough for your Sat Nav to know EXACTLY where you are at all times, oh yes!).

After chatting recently with marketing and advertising entrepreneur Nick Broom about the value of Twitter, he investigated it for himself and came up with some good ideas of why such a seemingly useless online past time could in fact provide a useful communication tool that leaves email sobbing in the corner with no friends (except fairweather spam). Nick is intrigued by the medium and would, I am sure, welcome comments on his blog from those of you who already use Twitter for more than just sharing a moan about computer crashes or other geek issues.

`LET’S BITCH’ – BLOGGING IS FUN

Now let’s help out those nervous souls who fear leaving comments on blogs in case they make a fool of themselves. Darlings – what can be MORE foolish than getting completely lost in a Sainsbury’s car park? Be fearless, and if you really cannot think of anything interesting to say, just do what I do…. post a link to someone else’s blog that IS interesting!

TECHY BLONDES ARE COOL

Mindless Jabber of Twitter

My Facebook friend E.D.Trimm (don’t be fooled by the formality of her initials – she is a LADY) has bravely ventured into the manic playground that is Twitter. It has not been easy my dears to PERSUADE her. Her initial impressions were, I quote:

“Suzy, I still don’t get Twitter. There seems to be no “twitter” in and of itself, only links to professional blogging sites, vid sites etc. Now, I’ve never felt the need to parade myself before the world with inane chatter and certainly not on camera. So what precisely am I missing here??? Obviously this “social networking” thing is “THE” thing, but outside of the corporate world, which I detest beyond comment, where’s the advantage?… I mean one guy was going on about what was he going to do for the 10 hours between the twitter conference and his plane departure. and I’m like who the heck cares??”

And of course, I agree completely, and so do most people using Twitter! My theory, darlings, is that the virtual world of Twitterville brings us more in contact with our own real lives. In this big cold world, my sweets, we all need a place we can bitch, complain, talk to ourselves, dream, make resolutions, proclamations, and to generally … SHARE.

Beware, it can only take a few days to become hooked…

Joining a new community may at first appear daunting, but what is incredible about Twitter is how quickly a group of diverse professionals, geeks, marketeers and some normal people, become a community just by listening in on each others thoughts. If you are not already a Twitter addict, go on, try it. Just say “Yes!”

I was advised by my social networking optimisation guru (affectionately known to me as Number One Geek) to ‘follow’ all the friends of anyone interesting I came across (he mean’t himself, of course) and because they are inherently rather polite, you will soon find yourself being ‘followed’ by a host of complete strangers. But not only will you NOT need to call the police or adopt a secret identity to escape them – (should you have a bout of paranoia, just click a button and they’re GONE!) – you will soon know more about what goes through their minds on a daily basis than their nearest and dearest. If you find other people interesting – then you will just adore Twitter.

As for E.D., I am waiting to discover what she thinks of it all now. I just checked her ‘Tweets”, and there is barely an hour that goes by without her sending out a message. Whatever she may claim, I fear that she has gone past the point of no return, and may soon be at that sad stage we all reach, when we send out messages at times when everyone is asleep. And we don’t care anymore. Hmmm, yep, must stop doing that.

GEEK CHIC

Dummies guides?

Another lady who has initials just to keep us guessing about her first names is BL Ochman, who writes a very interesting blog and has helpfully created a guide to using Twitter effectively so you don’t end up annoying everyone and having no followers (it is quite hard to get to that stage – people are incredibly tolerant). Check out her kick-ass guide to Twitter.

Newbies may also like to read a simple and very helpful guide to getting started (which I discovered via a Tweet from Jeremiah Owyang, who should be on everyone’s follow list). Any other advice and links from readers will be gratefully received in the comments box below.

Profiles

Thank you to Andy White for providing some kind of answer to what an online profile should focus upon in the comments on my last posting.

“An online presence created with one or more of the following motives: a) as part of a strategy of increasing web presence (marketing motive), b) social acceptance and experimentation, c) pure fun!
- hmmmm, a bit nerdish, this definition – but then I’m an Internet Marketing geek! Actually b and c could be the same.”

Andy, as a dictionary you are about as concise as I am. Stick to being an ace podcast creator. But you are right of course – ‘b & c’ are most definitely the same, and what any online profile should be about. I would add only one extra thing. A photograph so skilfully taken by a genius photographer, that most people would not recognise you if they met you for real on a Monday morning. Alternatively, you can spend months creating a Second Life avatar to represent you, or even have a picture of your favourite animal. Trust me, many do.

`LET’S BITCH’ – BLOGGING IS FUN

Did you know that you can create blogs for when you are dead? Isn’t that great!

Curtesy of Jeremiah Owyang’s weekly digest I discovered that there is a place to leave a blog for your friends and relatives after you have passed on into the blogosphere. So my question is, after taking a look at Blogging When Your Dead, what thoughts does it inspire?

MY first thoughts were how jolly useful it would be for mourners to be able to leave comments. “We miss you Harvey. If ONLY you hadn’t tried to recharge your mobile, whilst Twittering in the shower…”

What comments do you want others to make about you? What will be your last Tweet?

TECHY BLONDES ARE COOL

Overwhelm

Darlings, it was just TOO much. Enthralled and excited by my first venture into online social networking, I started to discover a wealth of information and fun in the form of other people’s blogs, and began to gather them up like manna from Heaven, stacking them up in my Bookmarks and Favourites, requesting email notifications by the dozen – until turning on my computer became the equivalent of opening my front door on a winter’s morning, to be greeted by a wall of impenetrable ice. I was snowed in.

Rescue

Desperate for help, I tried to call out to the Universe for guidance, but the email inbox counter kept rolling ever higher and opening my Bookmarks was like throwing a ball of string out of the Empire State Building. I pulled myself up from my ersatz tiger skin rug, wiped the tears from my eyes, and determined that you don’t use a teaspoon to dig your way out of a snow drift. It was time to call in a Geek.

Getting hold of people

Luckily, Geeks are not like plumbers. You can find them in an emergency and luckily I had my phone enabled for Twitter. The solution to my drowning in other people’s blogs? A wonderful invention, called an RSS Reader.  They are like a filing cabinet with big drawers to put in your blogs, news feeds, and anything else that possesses an RSS feed (you remember those squashed oranges I mentioned in an earlier blog?). And since Geeks can often leave you smiling politely and wondering if they have answered your question or, inadvertently told you how to make a hydrogen bomb, I suggest darlings that when it comes to finding out the nitty gritty you watch a video called RSS in plain English and all will become clear. Halleluyah! A JCB has dug through the snowdrift and I can see daylight again!

GEEK CHIC

People will think I am dumb

This is the feeble excuse that some of you make when I ask – “Why don’t you join in some conversations online?” Sweeties it really isn’t anything like going to a cocktail party full of Oxford Dons. Just because you don’t always understand everything that everyone is saying (especially the Geeks), you WILL find people talking about all the wonderful things that they do. Only this morning, I read Tweets from @BlondeByDesign who is putting together care packages for Kandahar (yes, not everyone on the Internet is a Geek) so why not start by finding groups on Facebook who run charitable causes, or get involved with a Social Enterprise site?

Proud to be a social networking ‘blonde’

On behalf of my fellow non-geeks who are venturing into this new world of online discourse, I salute all the clever and helpful angels who have commented on the first Blogging For Blondes and provided so much great advice and help. Some of those helpful people can be found in my blogroll which smart blondes will make good use of. You are part of a community now, and will be astounded by how generous and helpful other people – even really clever ones – can be.

`LET’S BITCH’ – BLOGGING IS FUN

An online profile is an outrageous attempt to give yourself some credibility amongst a group of unsuspecting strangers. Discuss.

TECHY BLONDES ARE COOL

You will not turn into a Geek

The first thing I MUST assure you of, my darlings, is that becoming an online social networker will NOT transform you overnight into a GEEK. There may however be some occasions when, having been `online’ deep into the night talking to `virtual friends’ (by that I don’t mean the cocktail brigade, merely people you have not yet met in person) you MAY find that some of your `real life’ friends fall by the wayside. This is because you will be FAR too tired to take lunch with them the following day.

But it will be worth it….

In 2006, not only was beer beaten by the Ipod as the most `in thing’ among college students, it shared second place with Facebook, one of the premier social networking sites that are changing the way many people, not just college students, interact. But trust me darling, you don’t have to be a beer swilling student to use Facebook – us non-techy blondes can make a splash there too if we can only just try to work out what it’s all about. That is my avowed mission, and I would like all of you beautiful people who think that HTML stands for “Hurry To Make Lunch” to join me on this quest.

We know blondes are smart really

Hey, I have a brain, I just keep it in my head and don’t flaunt it around like a nice new dress. And social networking is definitely making me even smarter. For example, I sourced the information about the biannual studies done by the Student Monitor, a marketing research group focused on college students, from a woman’s networking site called `The Bag Lady‘ who sent me their newsletter right into my inbox. I merely clicked on their interesting article (Oh alright, I admit it, I mis-clicked and was MEANT to be opening up an email about `shopping for shoes’) but the point is my lovelies, that subscribing to a few networking groups can open up a whole new world of information and knowledge that you just won’t get chatting to your friends in the queue at Waitrose.

Which Sites Shall I Join?

For those of us who have experimented with dating sites (oh come on, don’t pretend you haven’t even PEEKED at those wonderful online shopping malls?) those conversations may have lacked genuine openness – or even interest.

However, you will find the quality of conversations on sites such as Facebook far superior, providing that you hang out with the right people. Like the business networking site Ecademy, Google `reads’ Facebook, so please note that the profile you post upon it will become a window into your life – so do make sure that you are looking your best.

Gentlemen’s Clubs or Starbucks?

Ecademy encourage a `coffee bar’ atmosphere, but I always feel when I’m there that I am still wearing my heels and trying not to swear in public. LinkedIn is almost like popping into the office for a quick chat on the way to lunch, which is nice but not exciting.

I advise you to explore all opportunities that these sites offer, but for now I shall be concentrating more on the `Starbucks’ sites, like Facebook and Twitter. Places to talk and share information and ideas, or in the case of Twitter, more like singing in the shower loud enough for the whole world to hear you.

Why would I want to be a `Blogger’?

Whilst getting a sense of which websites take your fancy, I want you first to understand the concept of `blogging’ and why it is a vital tool in your social networking handbag. Commenting on other people’s blogs allows you to share your knowledge, ideas, and to be useful. This helps raise your profile as someone worth talking to. But if you really want to allow a large group of people to interact with you and get to know you, then start your own blog, which you can link to from any networking sites you are a member of.

A Weblog is a diary in which you can rant on about anything you want, but unless you create some kind of response you will become bored awfully quickly. So encourage people to leave comments (your blog software will allow you this choice).

And when someone does argue back in the `comments’ section, you can either:

1/ `block’ their comments
2/ `publish’ their comments and then tear apart their argument in public (which is much more fun).

So whether you want to keep your distant relatives or lovers up to date with your life, rouse a hysterical fervor of support for a personal campaign, or build deeper relationships with business associates, look first at some good examples to follow.

I recommend the `short, pithy, campaigning’ style of Chris Brogan, the `full of intelligent commentary’ style of Jeremiah Owyang, and the `chatty’ style of SocialSet

For some people, getting started with blogging is as simple as buying a new pair of shoes. But for those of us who find choosing our wardrobe a major daily crisis, you can always find a kind Geeky friend to help you. Or even better, pay someone who knows what their doing. If you are happy to get your clothes `off the peg’ rather than made to measure, you will find that WordPress and Blogger are accessible even to those of us who still don’t know how to heat up coffee in the microwave, without causing all those lovely Firemen to come round for a visit.

GEEK CHIC

TAGS AND KEYWORDS

Most blog templates or discussion forums worth the time of day will allow you to add tags and keywords.  These are nothing to do with keeping track of criminals, but are everything to do with helping other people join in with your conversations. Key words that match those you add into your blogs, when typed into search engines by others, will see your blog in their search results. So if your blog was about “Dancing Naked on Midsummers Eve” you might use the following tags: “naked dancing, pagan rites, how to upset the neighbours”.

RSS

This is a wonderful little box that allows you to receive other people’s blogs or newsletters without you having to remember to go and check to see if they have arrived. Like getting the Sunday Times delivered to your door, only this service is free! You will need to have a way of `reading’ the RSS feeds (Really Simple Syndication) – Google Reader does the job nicely. You can also create an RSS feed from your own blog – but now my head is starting to hurt so we shall leave that for other time.

The RSS symbol looks like an orange that has been run over, with white markings, but usually has RSS written near by to save confusion. When you click on it, it will either make the whole process really easy and automated, or it will ask you to paste code into somewhere you can’t find, at which point you might want to ask a passing Geek to help you.

`LET’S BITCH’ – BLOGGING IS FUN

Well darlings, I popped onto Google and put in `blog templates’ and picked out WordPress at random, because it sounded respectable. I got quite carried away by the choice of colours and lovely pictures of the different templates.

Of course, I could have just stuck with the most `basic’ template but in a rush of uncharacteristic lazyness, I asked my lovely Geek friend Nik Butler (we all need at least one in our lives darling, trust me) to get me set up so that I could launch myself as a débutante on the social networking scene.

But I hear you question: “Is it really wise to present oneself on a social networking site as a `personality’, as `oneself’, rather than hide behind a `business persona’? Surely”, you say, “that must be like going out without wearing any make-up?”

I can assure you that it is entirely possible to be one’s self, fully made up, without hiding behind your logo.  But if you disagree with me – post your comments below!